Being gay isn’t easy.

Being gay isn’t easy.

Then add dating a girl in the closet with an LDS family into the equation makes being happy seem nearly impossible at times. 

I know love isn’t suppose to be easy, but why does it have to be so hard?

Why do we have to care about what everyone else thinks? How is it anyones business that we are both girls and happen to love each other? Mostly, why the fuck is that so wrong that people actively try to destroy it?

Not through me though. I wish some close-minded Bible thumper would tell me some bullshit about my love life. I would give them a blank stare and tell them Bitch Please and walk my swaggy ass self away. I don’t have patience for bullshit. 

My girlfriend however is in a much harder position considering she is surrounded by close-minded bible thumpers and some of them she calls her parents. Messed up situation. 

If I could I would sit these assholes down and tell them that they are killing our relationship. If I was a boy, our relationship would be amazing and I honestly think we could even end up together for a very long time.

But Im not a boy. 

I’m a girl. 

And to think some people think I choose to have people constantly try to rip apart of love life, tell me I am going to hell, and not have the same rights as every other American citizen.

Being gay isn’t easy.

But I’m hoping one day it might get little easier. 

Little Lez Book.

Names

Now names are just a label people call us or is it a sign of personality trait. I have only known a couple a name that lesbians everywhere should probably run from. The biggest name offender is…Alexis. 

  Alexis.

The urban dictionary definition was probably written by girls who are named Alexis, because they are insane. Its a fact. Three prime examples…

Alexis Number One:

Freaky Smurf: A 18 yr old who is a bit off, can’t hold liquor or beer, and would be someone Barney from How I Met Your Mother would try to bang in a bar. This type of Alexis doesn’t seem dangerous if you are down for the one night stand. But if you have a girlfriend and she has a friend Freaky Smurf….you might want to watch your back. You’ll know though because give Freak Smurf a couple shots and she’ll tell ya she slept with your girlfriend. Dumb Dumb Dumb.

Moving on to Alexis Number Two:

Hide yo kids, Hide yo wives, because she’s trying to ruin everybody lives: This type is dangerous, so unless you like drama beware with caution. Although you probably won’t be able to tell until its too late and she is already doing drive by past your house regularly. Then trying to make you seem like a horrible person to everyone possible. Blackmail is her best friend and man….are they close. So Become fellow lesbians this type of Alexis will have you running to the courts for a restraining order. 

Last but definitely not least Alexis Number Three:

Plain ol’ insane: Well she is probably a mix of one and two. She says inappropriate things, probably has kids and if your lucky an ex hubby. Nothing says Run Lezzy Run!! Like a woman who was married with kids. Then if she has more than 2…you’re in luck. It a rare form of Hot (but not actually attractive) Mess 2012 version! Back to the saying inappropriate things example conversation topics will be Sex life, Exs, STD scares, and other random crazy shit that is to unpredictable to write about. Then you find out while she talking uncontrollably  that she likes to fight, knows how to build a pipe bomb, and once hit her ex boyfriend with her care. My advice find the nearest exist and NEVER let her know where you live. 

Moral of this lesson: Before you hang out with a girl named Alexis. Think about it, plan an exist strategy, and be careful bro….be careful. 

Ta-Ta Tums Tums. 

Epic Fail.

damn it.

BUT Factor

So as displayed on an episode of “How I Met Your Mother” everyone has  BUT factor. 

For example:

She is so hot BUT….she has four kids and is only 19.

She is the best girl I have ever met BUT…..she is missing teeth.

She is so great and pretty BUT…she is shoot up heroin. 

The examples can be endless. I have been think lately what my BUT factor and I think I have figured it out. 

I am so damn awesome, almost to awesome to handle, but I get really anxious.

So anxious in fact that I start to think I’m not that awesome and I have mini freak outs when I feel like my feelings are on the line. This in turn, in the past, has caused me to go a bit….crazy. 

NEVER have I thought I was clingy, but before I realized my anxiety makes me so insecure I get clingy as a way to make sure everything is going okay. 

Now that I know, that this is my but….I’m pretty sure I have it under control. Kind of…when I focus or distract myself. 

If I had to pick another BUT factor….I think it would be I freeze up. Which isn’t always a bad thing I guess. I always like to fully read out each situation before I jump in. So in all aspects of life besides maybbee the dating one that isn’t really too bad. 

Anyway, everyday is a battle with this stupid anxiety. Especially when I’m trying to hang out with this girl. I refuse to let myself have a mini freakout, mostly because it would be awesome if this worked out. 

Moral of this blog: Know your BUT Factor. Then improve yourself, bro.